1. |
||||
|
Never had the chance to try
To shatter the center
Of a lie bred so deep in me
Countless nights barely breathing
Countless mornings unwaking
When you closed your eyes
Did you hold me tight
Did you count those rays of light
When you stepped into Dream's kingdom
Did you dream of our love
Of how each thread
Would be come undone
In late winter nights
When your eyes grew heavy
They forced you to take your last look at me
When your ears grew deaf to my cries
Did you step into your sickest dreams
And dream of me?
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
Tears gleaming back at me
Clouding everything I see
An immense fog
Weighing over my eyes
Enchanting, like a puppy
In my tears
The little life left
Of an innocence now lost
The little bit of humanity
A saving grace
When the salty dew
Scalds my face
I get a hint
That there may be
Something in me
Worth saving
Something worth sharing
Like when you look into
The pool of my blood
Beneath your feet
And see the sky
Looking back at you
|
||||
3. |
And halfhearted moans.
07:47
|
|||
|
No words
No speaking
Shut my mouth
Inflamed by the rhythm of bodies
We made love
And each time I was sorry
I knew each time
That I wasn't good enough
Good enough to keep you
Enough to please you
I've never had a lustful heart
I just tried my best for you
Was it enough?
|
||||
4. |
Please don't go, Trevor.
05:56
|
|||
|
Please don't go
Such drowned uncertainties
Who will I drink myself to death with
Who will I call
When the tears won't stop
And I can't bear
To look at anyone else
I've not much left
You and a brother
I've already lost much
I can't bring myself
To lose again
I know what this life can bring
Little of it any good
But it brought me two brothers
Please don't go, Trevor
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
When I came home
The sheets so neatly folded
Waiting in your breath
It was more than enough
Each night faded
Each morning I don't hate
A grain of hope
While I may be worse off
At least you'll smile
While I may be hopeless
At least you'll hold some hope
I don't need their help
I'm okay with getting worse
It's all the same I've heard
I need to get better
I need to appreciate everything
But it's okay
Each grain of hope
Holds, in itself,
A grain of fear and danger
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
Your footsteps
Just outside
I feel you closer
My heart beats faster
How will I draw you in
Blood on the sheets
Pull you in
Pull out my teeth
Doubled over
And aching
Don't just ignore me
Look at me
Look at what
Your absence has done
Sleeping in a long sleeve
Ashamed
Of what you did to me in my head
Next time
I won't be cowardly
You'll be picking me up
Off your floor
Sometimes I wonder
How many times
You dreamed
Of bleeding tears
Over my lifeless body
Were you scared?
Did you worry?
Were you relieved
That you were finally free?
|
||||
7. |
It’s so easy to relapse.
06:18
|
|||
|
I'll never be okay again
I can't even hope
That one day I'll be the same
That one day I'll live
Without fear and shame
I didn't think
I'd be here this long
I didn't think
It'd all go so wrong
This will be the last
The last time
I won't regret
Or yearn
For someone else
Like a hunger
For something that
Won't let me eat
Don't give me another look
Don't give me another kiss
Don't even try
For all my trying
Why should I let it
Mean anything at all?
|
||||
Somewhere swallowed. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
I dream of you endlessly.
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